Grooming and Grieving: A Deadly Combo.
Word to the wise – You should never attempt any grooming-type-things when going through a harsh emotional phase. Just go to work with a wrinkly shirt and uncombed hair. Nobody really cares. If you try to primp in any way during this delicate period, you’ll do more harm than good. Trust me. Especially: Don’t ever, ever even think of touching your eyebrows.

(“Oh, no.”)

Oh, yes.

The other night I went and plucked my eyebrows in not-the-best light. I think I was listening to Richard Buckner, and I might’ve been crying just minutes before. Don’t do, this, okay? Usually, I only go through the most basic of eyebrow depilation – a couple-few plucks – and always underneath the brow – but the other night in my madness, I was driven into that Amateur No-No Land of Above-the-Brow, and now I have two weird, rectangular caterpillars over my eyes. I’m just recounting this personal moment as a cautionary tale. Don’t let this happen to you. Put. The tweezers. Down. If you must groom, paint your damned toenails.