Two Things About the Wide World Around Us
1. The elevator music changes from state to state. Yes and Muzak and Homogenized Culture Blah, but: I have heard more Counting Crows and Blues Traveler at the damn Harrises Teeter and Food Lionses than ever played down at the Kroger and Publix of my previous peanut-butter purchasing days. And it’s been a really long time since I’ve heard either one of those groups anywhere, period.

I guess the music at the Atlanta stores probably had its weird little quirks, too. Maybe this: Maybe the Preprogrammed Music Gods are so savvy, they’ve not only figured out what makes people shop faster and buy more, but moreover: they’ve figured out what works for people in specific regions of the land. So though I never noticed the elev’ music back in Atalanta, it was because I wasn’t supposed to. It was designed for me…me, and my inevitable kind. (God, I even remember singing aloud to the tunes at the Publix on Briarcliff. In earnest. They had me pegged, didn’t they?) I’d better watch how long I stay in this new place. Sorry, Blues Traveler fans…You’re nice people; I just don’t want to groove like that.

2. There are Hardees here. At least two of them are simultaneously advertising new sandwiches and jobs. The result? Signs that read:

“New Jalapeno Thickburger Now Accepting All Applications”
and
“We Have Beef Breakfast Wraps Seeking Manager Positions”

So I guess the food really does come first there.

That’s all, right now.